One is slow
Each one beautiful, in its own right.
Same town,
different place.
One
suggests,
it's not a race.
Friday, February 5, 2016
Contrast
One is go
One is slow
Each one beautiful, in its own right.
Same town,
different place.
One
suggests,
it's not a race.
One is slow
Each one beautiful, in its own right.
Same town,
different place.
One
suggests,
it's not a race.
Forgiveness, I think?
Is forgiveness a universal term no matter what you believe about faith? Is it something that even my dog understands after he has done something wrong and I affirm him by the look in my eyes? Is it up to the person who offers forgiveness or the one who receives it that needs to move on once it is given? Or is it both?
What is it? Is it just simply that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and so we are forgiven? Is it grace woven in so that we can actually forgive ourselves? Is it a choice, a decision? Is it a gift that we give ourselves in addition to offering it to others? Is it possible to understand forgiveness, if you do not walk by faith?
The answer is yes, I think.
Let's dive in to each of these to see what shakes out.
1) What is it? According to Webster here goes the simple definition of forgiveness...
- to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong)
- to stop feeling anger about something
- to stop requiring payment
2) Is it just simply that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and so we are forgiven? In "The Message Bible there are a bazillion pieces of scripture around forgiveness and grace but I chose this one as I think it lends itself to what we are uncovering today. This comes from Romans 3: 23-24.
What is it? Is it just simply that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and so we are forgiven? Is it grace woven in so that we can actually forgive ourselves? Is it a choice, a decision? Is it a gift that we give ourselves in addition to offering it to others? Is it possible to understand forgiveness, if you do not walk by faith?
The answer is yes, I think.
Let's dive in to each of these to see what shakes out.
1) What is it? According to Webster here goes the simple definition of forgiveness...
- to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong)
- to stop feeling anger about something
- to stop requiring payment
2) Is it just simply that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and so we are forgiven? In "The Message Bible there are a bazillion pieces of scripture around forgiveness and grace but I chose this one as I think it lends itself to what we are uncovering today. This comes from Romans 3: 23-24.
God Has Set Things Right
"Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ."
4) Is it a choice, a decision? Yes. Yes and Yes. Action follows thought. If we don't think it first, we can't do it.
6) Is it possible to understand forgiveness, if you do not walk by faith? I don't know if we can fully understand forgiveness, whether we walk by faith or not. It is a pretty huge concept and I imagine some of the scholars get it more than we do. I guess it comes down to practice when it comes down to actually receiving forgiveness. If we do not walk by faith I think we can still do it and hopefully allow God to use the circumstances to draw us closer to Him.
I am working with a couple right now and they don't have a relationship with Christ but they get the concept of forgiveness and they sure need it right now. I can see that they are in desperate pain and that shy of forgiveness it will be difficult for them to move on.
The point of forgiveness has to be based on moving from where we are now to something bigger, something better and something that we cannot do on our own. Almost magical. When we reflect on the times in our lives where pain was at the center it is usually forgiveness or grace that got us through. In one of my most painful times of life I had a looming issue that I was sure was unforgivable. I held it for years.
One day in the midst of a church service where we were singing, something miraculous happened. I imagined Jesus standing at the cross just waiting on me. I fought him, in that I kept wanting to take back my shame, hang on to it, not let it go. But I had to. It was a weight around my neck. Something that I had held and carried for almost 20 years. Something I never thought I could let go of. And then it happened. After the struggle, I actually saw myself lay my shame at the foot of the cross. I laid down all of the thoughts, lies and ridicule that I had carried for so many years. I released what wasn't mine to carry. I had received forgiveness.
We have all made mistakes. We have all wished we could have a do over in our relationships. We have all been forgiven.
Here is an exercise that helps us all on our forgiveness journey.
Write a letter(s) as follows. Don't worry about mailing it. Just write. Then decide to share it or destroy or tuck it away for another day to decide.
Dear x, I forgive you for.....
Dear self, I forgive myself for....
Dear God, Please forgive me for....
3) Is it grace woven in so that we can actually forgive ourselves? The grace part comes from understanding that it is a "pure gift".
5) Is it a gift that we give ourselves in addition to offering it to others? Every time we choose to forgive we are actually taking the weight off of our shoulders and shifting it to God. We relinquish control. We decide that we can no longer carry it on our own and therefore, we are giving ourselves a gift of freedom.
I am working with a couple right now and they don't have a relationship with Christ but they get the concept of forgiveness and they sure need it right now. I can see that they are in desperate pain and that shy of forgiveness it will be difficult for them to move on.
The point of forgiveness has to be based on moving from where we are now to something bigger, something better and something that we cannot do on our own. Almost magical. When we reflect on the times in our lives where pain was at the center it is usually forgiveness or grace that got us through. In one of my most painful times of life I had a looming issue that I was sure was unforgivable. I held it for years.
One day in the midst of a church service where we were singing, something miraculous happened. I imagined Jesus standing at the cross just waiting on me. I fought him, in that I kept wanting to take back my shame, hang on to it, not let it go. But I had to. It was a weight around my neck. Something that I had held and carried for almost 20 years. Something I never thought I could let go of. And then it happened. After the struggle, I actually saw myself lay my shame at the foot of the cross. I laid down all of the thoughts, lies and ridicule that I had carried for so many years. I released what wasn't mine to carry. I had received forgiveness.
We have all made mistakes. We have all wished we could have a do over in our relationships. We have all been forgiven.
Here is an exercise that helps us all on our forgiveness journey.
Write a letter(s) as follows. Don't worry about mailing it. Just write. Then decide to share it or destroy or tuck it away for another day to decide.
Dear x, I forgive you for.....
Dear self, I forgive myself for....
Dear God, Please forgive me for....
Monday, February 1, 2016
Learning Through Disappointment
Disappointment can teach us something that success can't. It reminds us that we are human and that loss is real. It provides contrast to an otherwise ordinary day. It gives us context to show us that hard work can pay off and that good things come to those who wait.
The perspective of loss is probably the hardest part, not the actual loss itself. When we are brave and risk getting out of our comfort zone we often have to face failure. This is where the rubber hits the road. If we are not afraid to fail then we will never be afraid to try.
Perhaps this is where "survival of the fittest" kicks in. Everyone of us has failed but many have not stopped to learn the lesson from the loss. I have had anxiety over not being able to finish a task and at times this has caused me to over-function. It is almost like I write a script where I feel like I will get everything finished, except the thing that matters the most. For example, I have never been a runner but it would be like doing a marathon and quitting at mile 25.
I realize this dates back to a work scenario over 24 years ago where while working on a project, I took a break to visit with my "crush" - now my husband to help him hang pictures in his new office. When my boss found out that I was "lolly gagging" it was as if everything that had gone before me was meaningless. All of the hard work that I had put in to completing this very laborious project was lost in the last moments of me taking a break. I felt like a failure.
This script is something that I have carried with me and it seems to rear its ugly head when I doubt myself. I was reminded of this today when I spoke to a friend who is trying to get on TedX to do a Ted Talk on being a comedian. Her topic is one that we can all relate to and yet she was met with disappointment. The message she was hoping to convey was about bravery, public speaking and being willing to go out on a limb. Her message was about pursuing your dreams and not being afraid to live out loud.
As I tried to provide empathy in her loss, I realized that learning truly does come through the disappointment. It is about stretching out more and being willing to rush the stage. It is about not stopping at "no" and being willing to go through the back door to get our needs met.
I have only felt defeated a few times in my life and I think that is mostly due in part to not being afraid to try new things. Even when I don't hit the ball out of the park, I am still glad that I tried. I owe this in part to my parents who never doubted that I could do anything. They failed to mention that failure was a possibility. As a result, I never feared trying.
I wonder if all of the people that came before us who did or created great things learned from failure - my guess is yes. I perceive the opportunity is in the thinking. If we believe that effort equates to success we may be less inclined to worry about the outcome. Perhaps risk-taking and daring to believe that "we can" should be the goal, instead of the perceived outcome.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
The Small Door
In raising children there is a small sliver of time where we actually can penetrate their hearts and minds for the better. There is a diminishing opportunity every day as they age. Look closely as you search for the small door.......................................................................................................................
Topically, I am aware of this truth as I just had the pleasure of teaching ten 4 and 5 year olds this morning at church. Their minds were fiesty and alive - seeking, wondering, enveloping and pursuing what they hadn't already learned.
This was in stark contrast to a young teen man who had already made up his mind last night not to attend church this morning. I am guessing that this is because he has only had the world's view of faith. Nothing real. Not relationship based. Just religion.
As parents we owe it to our kids to teach them about things that matter like manners, chivalry, being open to differing opinions, respect, honor and what is means to be God fearing.
God fearing sounds so negative so let me clarify. What I mean is that we keep things in perspective. That it is not about us. That we appreciate and accept that there is more to life than getting our own needs met. That there is a purpose on this earth for each and every person that breathes life, beyond what we can imagine ourselves.
The only way that our kids are going to miss the difference between "race" and "people" is through modeling. Certainly this will not be accomplished by what they see on television or hear in the media. This is true of politics as well. Imagine if our kids only had CNN or Fox News to learn about leadership.
There is a fine line as a parent to allow your children to learn through the consequences and preparing them to face the consequences. I am always amazed when I am counseling adolescents and their parents are aggravated that they don't clean up their rooms only to find out that they were never expected to do so as a young child. Kids are less amenable the older they get.
We want to raise our children to be independent thinkers and yet it is our duty to expose them to what is true. So where do we get this information?
First, I look to people who have gone before me when it comes to parenting and see what they have yielded. I remember watching our friends Rick and Rita parent their 5 children all who are older than ours. I was amazed that her young boys were retaining their kindness and respect as they grew into young men. I realized early on it was because the expectation was set and from their perspective there was no alternative behavior.
I also learned that the respect was mutual and that they didn't have a holier than though attitude that they wielded over their children. They admitted mistakes, walked humbly and had Christ at the center.
I also have looked to tried and true methods starting with good parenting plans like Choice Theory and Love and Logic. Both methods of parenting provided a road map for my husband and I to operate from when we realized that the doctor had not sent home an instruction manual when we brought our boys home from the hospital. Well, I do remember her telling me not to finish my kids mac n' cheese to fend off losing the baby weight - that was good advice.
Modeling is such a big hairy deal! Everything we do our kids will either do or remember. So take going to church for example, when they are young isn't it up to us to get out of bed and get cute clothes on for church and make our way to hear about news that we can use? Today while I was teaching the kids in their small group the sermon was on building our house on rock versus sand. I can tell you that this will be one podcast that I will be listening to over a glass of wine or coffee before tomorrow morning.
We all quest for what is good but what about what is right and true? No matter what your religion the basic tenets of moral values run through most faith sectors. Shouldn't we give our kids a fighting chance to see what we have learned or teach them what is available if we haven't?
Personally, I am not comfortable in an overly charismatic environment or one where people are pushing me to believe in "their" perspective. I want something a bit more solid and I certainly am not going to put my keys in the offering plate because some man at the altar says that God wants me to. I do however want my kids to know that there are false prophets out there and many people will act like god but have no business representing Him.
As a parent I am obligated to vet out what is being taught and I am convinced that while well intentioned not all people have the right motives in mind. So, how do we know?
Listen, listen and listen. If it doesn't sound right then it probably isn't. Ask, ask and ask again. Find out what your kids are being taught at school or church and teach them to question or confront something if it isn't right. Make sure that you as a parent are creating an environment where they are not afraid to be wrong and they are willing to risk exploring their ideas.
I am taking a laugh break right now because this one came back to bite me when my youngest son was in 2nd Grade. He came home to tell me that he and a buddy had gone to the school counselor because they didn't like the way kids were being treated on the playground. On the onset it all sounded good until he told me that they had notebooks to record everything that was going wrong! Needless to say I had to teach him quickly about letting the adults manage problems and that there are such things as bullies as it became quite clear that he might meet one on the playground in short order if he kept updating his "behavior log".
We want to do everything right as parents and yet sometimes we miss the simplest lessons. Parenting is more then teaching our kids how to ride a bike, be nice to friends and say please and thank you. It is so much deeper. So much more rewarding.
It's about exposing them to challenges and talking it over with them at dinner. Tonight for example my husband will be humbling himself because he was in a fender bender yesterday and he wasn't on his phone hands free. We have all done it but the opportunity to use a real life example is so much more realistic than talking about someone else's mistakes.
I love that many kids today don't know the difference between black and white. This is so different from our parents generation and even ours. It seems they have nothing to "undo" they just get to see people for who they are versus what color of skin they have. This had to have been accomplished through modeling and choosing our words carefully. It had to be a conscious effort on our part as we parented this generation and decided that we didn't want to carry that torch into this era.
I certainly have much to learn and I am grateful for moments like I had today when I was able to see the beauty in 10 little free minds that wore pink shoes, fancy dresses and couldn't wait to sing about their little gospel light. I love the fact that children often know more than we do and that we are never too old to learn!
Topically, I am aware of this truth as I just had the pleasure of teaching ten 4 and 5 year olds this morning at church. Their minds were fiesty and alive - seeking, wondering, enveloping and pursuing what they hadn't already learned.
This was in stark contrast to a young teen man who had already made up his mind last night not to attend church this morning. I am guessing that this is because he has only had the world's view of faith. Nothing real. Not relationship based. Just religion.
As parents we owe it to our kids to teach them about things that matter like manners, chivalry, being open to differing opinions, respect, honor and what is means to be God fearing.
God fearing sounds so negative so let me clarify. What I mean is that we keep things in perspective. That it is not about us. That we appreciate and accept that there is more to life than getting our own needs met. That there is a purpose on this earth for each and every person that breathes life, beyond what we can imagine ourselves.
The only way that our kids are going to miss the difference between "race" and "people" is through modeling. Certainly this will not be accomplished by what they see on television or hear in the media. This is true of politics as well. Imagine if our kids only had CNN or Fox News to learn about leadership.
There is a fine line as a parent to allow your children to learn through the consequences and preparing them to face the consequences. I am always amazed when I am counseling adolescents and their parents are aggravated that they don't clean up their rooms only to find out that they were never expected to do so as a young child. Kids are less amenable the older they get.
We want to raise our children to be independent thinkers and yet it is our duty to expose them to what is true. So where do we get this information?
First, I look to people who have gone before me when it comes to parenting and see what they have yielded. I remember watching our friends Rick and Rita parent their 5 children all who are older than ours. I was amazed that her young boys were retaining their kindness and respect as they grew into young men. I realized early on it was because the expectation was set and from their perspective there was no alternative behavior.
I also learned that the respect was mutual and that they didn't have a holier than though attitude that they wielded over their children. They admitted mistakes, walked humbly and had Christ at the center.
I also have looked to tried and true methods starting with good parenting plans like Choice Theory and Love and Logic. Both methods of parenting provided a road map for my husband and I to operate from when we realized that the doctor had not sent home an instruction manual when we brought our boys home from the hospital. Well, I do remember her telling me not to finish my kids mac n' cheese to fend off losing the baby weight - that was good advice.
Modeling is such a big hairy deal! Everything we do our kids will either do or remember. So take going to church for example, when they are young isn't it up to us to get out of bed and get cute clothes on for church and make our way to hear about news that we can use? Today while I was teaching the kids in their small group the sermon was on building our house on rock versus sand. I can tell you that this will be one podcast that I will be listening to over a glass of wine or coffee before tomorrow morning.
We all quest for what is good but what about what is right and true? No matter what your religion the basic tenets of moral values run through most faith sectors. Shouldn't we give our kids a fighting chance to see what we have learned or teach them what is available if we haven't?
Personally, I am not comfortable in an overly charismatic environment or one where people are pushing me to believe in "their" perspective. I want something a bit more solid and I certainly am not going to put my keys in the offering plate because some man at the altar says that God wants me to. I do however want my kids to know that there are false prophets out there and many people will act like god but have no business representing Him.
As a parent I am obligated to vet out what is being taught and I am convinced that while well intentioned not all people have the right motives in mind. So, how do we know?
Listen, listen and listen. If it doesn't sound right then it probably isn't. Ask, ask and ask again. Find out what your kids are being taught at school or church and teach them to question or confront something if it isn't right. Make sure that you as a parent are creating an environment where they are not afraid to be wrong and they are willing to risk exploring their ideas.
I am taking a laugh break right now because this one came back to bite me when my youngest son was in 2nd Grade. He came home to tell me that he and a buddy had gone to the school counselor because they didn't like the way kids were being treated on the playground. On the onset it all sounded good until he told me that they had notebooks to record everything that was going wrong! Needless to say I had to teach him quickly about letting the adults manage problems and that there are such things as bullies as it became quite clear that he might meet one on the playground in short order if he kept updating his "behavior log".
We want to do everything right as parents and yet sometimes we miss the simplest lessons. Parenting is more then teaching our kids how to ride a bike, be nice to friends and say please and thank you. It is so much deeper. So much more rewarding.
It's about exposing them to challenges and talking it over with them at dinner. Tonight for example my husband will be humbling himself because he was in a fender bender yesterday and he wasn't on his phone hands free. We have all done it but the opportunity to use a real life example is so much more realistic than talking about someone else's mistakes.
I love that many kids today don't know the difference between black and white. This is so different from our parents generation and even ours. It seems they have nothing to "undo" they just get to see people for who they are versus what color of skin they have. This had to have been accomplished through modeling and choosing our words carefully. It had to be a conscious effort on our part as we parented this generation and decided that we didn't want to carry that torch into this era.
I certainly have much to learn and I am grateful for moments like I had today when I was able to see the beauty in 10 little free minds that wore pink shoes, fancy dresses and couldn't wait to sing about their little gospel light. I love the fact that children often know more than we do and that we are never too old to learn!
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Peace in the Present
"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift - which is why we call it the present".
I woke up early this morning and it is still mysterious outside.
The day is about to unfold and I have no idea what it holds. I feel a certain amount of energy when I stay in the present and yet it is so easy to be pulled in to the "to do's". Perhaps weekends make it easier to be presently focused because they are days like no other.
Growing up, Saturday was a chore day and Sunday was church, Shirley Temple and a roast beef dinner. It seems like the weeks are rolling by faster and faster and Friday seems to almost come too quickly.
Maybe this is because as a parent, over time, we see our little ones go from pushing peas up their nose, to kindergarten, their first dance and then suddenly we are taking them to the secretary of state to get their driver's license.
At the moment, I don't want time to pass quickly. I want to soak in every moment of the present -
- seeing icicles fall
- skitching on ice with "no tread" shoes
- remembering lavender
- practicing the poetry in my mind
- taking time to listen
- sipping hot coffee in my comfy chair
- wearing polkadot pajamas and knowing that I look ridiculous
- feeling heat around my feet and being glad I am not homeless
- celebrating other people's momentous occasions and making them feel special
- realizing that words aren't always necessary to communicate
- being excited about chapstick and really good hand cream that smells like eucalyptus
- watching the light unfold in my midst
Being present is the gift. It needs no explanation and it doesn't ever beg for forgiveness. It gives us what we need in the moment - if we let it....
I woke up early this morning and it is still mysterious outside.
The day is about to unfold and I have no idea what it holds. I feel a certain amount of energy when I stay in the present and yet it is so easy to be pulled in to the "to do's". Perhaps weekends make it easier to be presently focused because they are days like no other.
Growing up, Saturday was a chore day and Sunday was church, Shirley Temple and a roast beef dinner. It seems like the weeks are rolling by faster and faster and Friday seems to almost come too quickly.
Maybe this is because as a parent, over time, we see our little ones go from pushing peas up their nose, to kindergarten, their first dance and then suddenly we are taking them to the secretary of state to get their driver's license.
At the moment, I don't want time to pass quickly. I want to soak in every moment of the present -
- seeing icicles fall
- skitching on ice with "no tread" shoes
- remembering lavender
- practicing the poetry in my mind
- taking time to listen
- sipping hot coffee in my comfy chair
- wearing polkadot pajamas and knowing that I look ridiculous
- feeling heat around my feet and being glad I am not homeless
- celebrating other people's momentous occasions and making them feel special
- realizing that words aren't always necessary to communicate
- being excited about chapstick and really good hand cream that smells like eucalyptus
- watching the light unfold in my midst
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Being Real
I've been contemplating what it means to be totally real- no matter what. The thing that came to me is that often times when we are totally "real with ourselves", we feel the most vulnerable with others. Perhaps being vulnerable appears to be weak and yet it is the thing that we know most about on the inside. We all have experienced hurt and what it feels like to be emotionally wounded. And yet through this risk we find deep love.
When we're actually able to be free to be ourselves we have the opportunity to not only share it with others but be exposed for the real way that we have been created. My hope is that as as we all quest for authenticity, we are able to risk being vulnerable in an effort to be real. Perhaps the payoff will be deeper relationships and the willingness to share our truths,our hurts and our fears. Maybe realizing that vulnerability can be a strength might just allow us to loosen the noose of control and give us each a chance to experience deeper connection with those that we love and those that love us!
I have this poem from Virginia Satir hanging in my mud room and I am reminded daily that "all of our parts" are good.
In all the world,
there is no one else exactly like me -
everything that comes out of me is authentically mine,
because I alone choose it - I own everything about me - my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
whether they be to others or to myself -
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears -
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts -
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know -
but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me -
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,
and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which I feel is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded -
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me -
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me -
I am me &
I AM OKAY
When we're actually able to be free to be ourselves we have the opportunity to not only share it with others but be exposed for the real way that we have been created. My hope is that as as we all quest for authenticity, we are able to risk being vulnerable in an effort to be real. Perhaps the payoff will be deeper relationships and the willingness to share our truths,our hurts and our fears. Maybe realizing that vulnerability can be a strength might just allow us to loosen the noose of control and give us each a chance to experience deeper connection with those that we love and those that love us!
I have this poem from Virginia Satir hanging in my mud room and I am reminded daily that "all of our parts" are good.
there is no one else exactly like me -
everything that comes out of me is authentically mine,
because I alone choose it - I own everything about me - my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
whether they be to others or to myself -
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears -
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts -
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know -
but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me -
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,
and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which I feel is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded -
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me -
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me -
I am me &
I AM OKAY
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
The Color of Hormones
Ok, let's get real. As a woman we have about 2 good weeks a month - one more that is borderline and another that should just take a long winters nap. I am amazed at how we can go from feeling like we are "all that and a bag of chips" to seeing our thighs as fat, our hair is too thin and thinking that there is no way that we will find a cute swimsuit for the summer. We catastrophize, prophesize and fixate on what "is" our size!
I wish I could explain the color of hormones and breath life into the description so that our spouse, family, kids and friends actually got us. The thing I do know as a woman is that we can relate to one another . Men if you are reading this I hope you are able to understand that our emotions are not intended to be hurtful, they just are!
It is so easy to see our deficits and this is especially true during the color blue. Blue represents what some days feel like when we want to stay under the covers and ignore the alarm. It is when we feel the least understood and we identify with loneliness, uncertainty and despair. This seems to hit especially when winter comes and the sun goes down early and stays hidden behind the clouds.
Yellow represents what we throw out when we are on our best behavior and despite all of our efforts to be grumpy, we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and decide to make it a good day, anyway.
Red sets in when we are burning up inside literally or figuratively when we start getting hot flashes in the night. P.S. I am going to give my 40+ friends a hot tip - Soma makes "Cool Night Pajamas" and they are the bomb!
Silver is knowing that there is still something bright and shiny on the inside but like and old quarter it needs some buffing.
Beige is just a "get me through this day" without being noticed kind of color and it makes it easy to hide our dirt. It kind of comes in handy when you just don't know what to do and it can give pause to the moment when uncertainty sets in.
Orange is the color I want to be- cool, vibrant and alive despite what is going on inside. I like to think that I quest for orange even when I slide on the spectrum.
Green is where I am now. Perhaps green is a metaphor for spring. Imagining when life is more peaceful and certain. I feel like each day I am hopeful and yet I know that struggle is lurking behind the wall to teach me something.
I have often asked God to show me what needs changing in an effort to better myself and my relationships. I am starting to think that asking God what needs to stay the same may be as important, if not more important. Perhaps we learn the most about ourselves and our struggles in the midst of this juxtaposition.
When we are depleted or weepy maybe what we really need is to give ourself permission to snuggle up with a good book instead of doing the dishes. Perhaps a little retail therapy isn't so bad after all!
What I am starting to realize and accept is that the color of hormones isn't something to be loathed but embraced. What if on days when we "really" need a friend we stopped doing laundry and picked up the phone? Did we ever stop and think that maybe it would make that person's day if they had the chance to serve us.
What if instead of saying "how are you?" followed by "fine" we actually said, "I am sad because I miss my dad today"? What if we were real with ourselves, our lovers, our friends, our family, our God.
Would we be met with surprise, disappointment, acceptance or grace? I know in my heart that those who love us would want to offer the best to us. Do we stop and give anyone the chance to experience all of our places and spaces that make us into such intricate beings?
Sometimes I think we hold back because we are afraid of what other people think. Or perhaps we hold back because others see us a certain way and we are afraid to disappoint them. Well, what if we stopped living out of fear and started to act out of freedom. What if we embraced that we are loved? What if we accepted that the last words that Jesus spoke before ascending into heaven were "I am with you always". What if we realized that we may feel lonely but we are never alone? What if?
I wish I could explain the color of hormones and breath life into the description so that our spouse, family, kids and friends actually got us. The thing I do know as a woman is that we can relate to one another . Men if you are reading this I hope you are able to understand that our emotions are not intended to be hurtful, they just are!
It is so easy to see our deficits and this is especially true during the color blue. Blue represents what some days feel like when we want to stay under the covers and ignore the alarm. It is when we feel the least understood and we identify with loneliness, uncertainty and despair. This seems to hit especially when winter comes and the sun goes down early and stays hidden behind the clouds.
Yellow represents what we throw out when we are on our best behavior and despite all of our efforts to be grumpy, we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and decide to make it a good day, anyway.
Red sets in when we are burning up inside literally or figuratively when we start getting hot flashes in the night. P.S. I am going to give my 40+ friends a hot tip - Soma makes "Cool Night Pajamas" and they are the bomb!
Silver is knowing that there is still something bright and shiny on the inside but like and old quarter it needs some buffing.
Beige is just a "get me through this day" without being noticed kind of color and it makes it easy to hide our dirt. It kind of comes in handy when you just don't know what to do and it can give pause to the moment when uncertainty sets in.
Orange is the color I want to be- cool, vibrant and alive despite what is going on inside. I like to think that I quest for orange even when I slide on the spectrum.
Green is where I am now. Perhaps green is a metaphor for spring. Imagining when life is more peaceful and certain. I feel like each day I am hopeful and yet I know that struggle is lurking behind the wall to teach me something.
I have often asked God to show me what needs changing in an effort to better myself and my relationships. I am starting to think that asking God what needs to stay the same may be as important, if not more important. Perhaps we learn the most about ourselves and our struggles in the midst of this juxtaposition.
When we are depleted or weepy maybe what we really need is to give ourself permission to snuggle up with a good book instead of doing the dishes. Perhaps a little retail therapy isn't so bad after all!
What I am starting to realize and accept is that the color of hormones isn't something to be loathed but embraced. What if on days when we "really" need a friend we stopped doing laundry and picked up the phone? Did we ever stop and think that maybe it would make that person's day if they had the chance to serve us.
What if instead of saying "how are you?" followed by "fine" we actually said, "I am sad because I miss my dad today"? What if we were real with ourselves, our lovers, our friends, our family, our God.
Would we be met with surprise, disappointment, acceptance or grace? I know in my heart that those who love us would want to offer the best to us. Do we stop and give anyone the chance to experience all of our places and spaces that make us into such intricate beings?
Sometimes I think we hold back because we are afraid of what other people think. Or perhaps we hold back because others see us a certain way and we are afraid to disappoint them. Well, what if we stopped living out of fear and started to act out of freedom. What if we embraced that we are loved? What if we accepted that the last words that Jesus spoke before ascending into heaven were "I am with you always". What if we realized that we may feel lonely but we are never alone? What if?
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