Friday, February 5, 2016

Forgiveness, I think?

Is forgiveness a universal term no matter what you believe about faith? Is it something that even my dog understands after he has done something wrong and I affirm him by the look in my eyes?  Is it up to the person who offers forgiveness or the one who receives it that needs to move on once it is given? Or is it both?

What is it? Is it just simply that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and so we are forgiven? Is it grace woven in so that we can actually forgive ourselves? Is it a choice, a decision? Is it a gift that we give ourselves in addition to offering it to others?  Is it possible to understand forgiveness, if you do not walk by faith?

The answer is yes, I think.

Let's dive in to each of these to see what shakes out.

1) What is it? According to Webster here goes the simple definition of forgiveness...

- to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong)
- to stop feeling anger about something
- to stop requiring payment

2) Is it just simply that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and so we are forgiven?  In "The Message Bible there are a bazillion pieces of scripture around forgiveness and grace but I chose this one as I think it lends itself to what we are uncovering today. This comes from Romans 3: 23-24.

God Has Set Things Right

"Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ."

3) Is it grace woven in so that we can actually forgive ourselves? The grace part comes from understanding that it is a "pure gift". 

4) Is it a choice, a decision? Yes. Yes and Yes. Action follows thought. If we don't think it first, we can't do it.

5) Is it a gift that we give ourselves in addition to offering it to others? Every time we choose to forgive we are actually taking the weight off of our shoulders and shifting it to God. We relinquish control. We decide that we can no longer carry it on our own and therefore, we are giving ourselves a gift of freedom.

6) Is it possible to understand forgiveness, if you do not walk by faith? I don't know if we can fully understand forgiveness, whether we walk by faith or not. It is a pretty huge concept and I imagine some of the scholars get it more than we do. I guess it comes down to practice when it comes down to actually receiving forgiveness.  If we do not walk by faith I think we can still do it and hopefully allow God to use the circumstances to draw us closer to Him.

I am working with a couple right now and they don't have a relationship with Christ but they get the concept of forgiveness and they sure need it right now. I can see that they are in desperate pain and that shy of forgiveness it will be difficult for them to move on.

The point of forgiveness has to be based on moving from where we are now to something bigger, something better and something that we cannot do on our own. Almost magical. When we reflect on the times in our lives where pain was at the center it is usually forgiveness or grace that got us through. In one of my most painful times of life I had a looming issue that I was sure was unforgivable. I held it for years.

One day in the midst of a church service where we were singing,  something miraculous happened. I imagined Jesus standing at the cross just waiting on me. I fought him, in that I kept wanting to take back my shame, hang on to it, not let it go. But I had to. It was a weight around my neck. Something that I had held and carried for almost 20 years. Something I never thought I could let go of. And then it happened. After the struggle, I actually saw myself lay my shame at the foot of the cross. I laid down all of the thoughts, lies and ridicule that I had carried for so many years. I released what wasn't mine to carry. I had received forgiveness.

We have all made mistakes. We have all wished we could have a do over in our relationships. We have all been forgiven.


Here is an exercise that helps us all on our forgiveness journey.

Write a letter(s) as follows. Don't worry about mailing it. Just write. Then decide to share it or destroy or tuck it away for another day to decide.
Dear  x, I forgive you for.....
Dear self, I forgive myself for....
Dear God, Please forgive me for....








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